Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Lost Connections: Mystery Man

I brought along my laptop to vacation because I was determined that I was going to keep you guys updated about my time in Europe.

Then I got there and yeah, well, no. It's not that I didn't want to, but my day to day was not nearly as exciting as I thought it would be.

Unfortunately I did not meet an international popstar in Italy or my doppelgänger. Plus, nobody gave me a hunkin' huge piece of cheese.

Nor did I want to constantly complain about my parents and talk about the history I do not know about the monuments we visited, so I decided to scrap the project.

But then I met a guy... I'm laughing because if you personally know me, my greatest/weirdest/most WTF stories usually involve one of two elements: boys or alcohol. Some stories involve both and it is just too much to handle, for reals.

So I met a guy. HE WAS PERFECT (for a short term fling while on vacation.) He said he graduated from Columbia University in NYC on a basketball scholarship. Then he said he was going to Columbia Law to study international and maritime law. Normally, I don't usually question what people tell me unless they have a reason to lie. I really don't think I'm a person who looks like I need to be impressed by big names: heck, people still think I'm in high school! And it's not like where I told him where I go to school, so it's not like he needed to up me. I guess you can be whoever you want to be on vacation, but if you're going to be somebody else, you should do some research.

First rule of tall tales: make sure it can't be easily falsified. Easy google search of his name, Columbia, basketball roster turned up nothing. Like, absolutely nothing. I don't normally stalk guys on Google unless I want something more than a one week fling, but his story just wasn't adding up. I go to a school that incites some serious reactions from people. I don't know why, it just does. So when I eventually told him where I went, he was like "Oh. Where's that? Oh. Okay......?"

Yeah, no, huge red flag right there.

For the sake of his attractiveness, the fact that (some) intellectual things actually came out of his mouth, and his hips moving in a godly way, I ignored this first red flag and continued pursuing him. Nothing happened between us (because I'm lame and do a thing where I avidly avoid people.) But then after our second encounter and another red flag (the fact that he said he studied political science but didn't know Obama was in his second term... dude) I made my friends investigate. When they turned up nothing, I became rly 'spicious.

Part of me was like "HE SKETCHY HE A SERIAL KILLER HE SHADY SHIT" but the other part of me was like "This guy who looks extremely attractive with a body of 8/10 and amazing dance moves is talking to ME." So I pushed things away because a hot guy was talking to me.

You know, I should really work on my self-confidence. What if he preys on girls who think less of themselves like me and then kills them? If I had died, I would have wanted Keke Palmer or Gabrielle Union to play me in the Lifetime movie.

Even with all these red flags, I was still kinda infatuated by him. At the moment, I was not 100% sure he was lying. It wasn't until I did my own research (because my friends didn't know what he looked him) that I was like "THAT DIRTY LIAR." Yet, still, he continues to be on my mind, as made evident by the fact that I am writing a blog entry about him.

So, if you know this man, please let me know. I have a few words I'd like to tell him.

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